Some Common Mistakes

Here are some typical problems in student essays. The key is to be very careful in writing your paper.

Put in your best effort.
Be precise and concise.
Make a plan and organize your ideas first.
Always re-read your essay carefully, check for mistakes, and make it better before submitting it.

If you hand in a paper and you make the same mistakes, lots of marks will be deducted!

Plagiarism

Suppose a student writes such a passage:

@Rey attacks the theory by arguing if all it takes to make a first-order state a conscious state is that the state be monitored by a scanner that makes integrative use of the information thus gleaned, then the Inner Sense theory would be far too weak@

This is very bad. The bold text is copied from a paper without acknowledgement. This is plagiarism and you can get zero marks as a result. If you submit your work through turnitin, make sure you check your originality score. A similarity index of 25% or above is unlikely to be acceptable.

HKU has a booklet about plagiarism: http://www.rss.hku.hk/plagiarism/

Direct quotation in main text / Failure to use quotation marks

When you copy a sentence or a long phrase from a text and use it in your essay, you should use quotation marks. Here is an example:

@Is a spider conscious? We cannot imagine a consciousness very different at all from our own, much less a greatly impoverished one. ¹ Therefore, we can never know whether other creatures other conscious. Footnote 1. Block et. el. ...@

The second sentence in boldface is actually not written by the student, but copied from a paper. Although the source is given in a footnote, this is not enough. If you have to include the sentence, write like this:

@Is a spider conscious? Not according to Block et. el. (1994). They say, "We cannot imagine a consciousness very different at all from our own, much less a greatly impoverished one" ¹. If they are right, we can never know whether other creatures other conscious. Footnote 1. Block et. el. ...@

But try to avoid writing like that. You should use your own words where possible.

"Use your own words" does not mean "change a few words"

The following is from a book:

@For that matter, individual subsystems of our own human psychologies doubtless involve their own internal monitors, and it is implausible to grant that those subsystems are themselves conscious.@

This is from a student's essay:

@we can consider the individual subsystems of our own human psychologies. They doubtlessly involve their own internal monitors, but obviously it is implausible to claim that those subsystems are themselves conscious.@

This is very bad, a case of cut-and-paste. Apart from changing a few words, basically they are the same passage. This is not how you should write an essay. Even if you put the book in your list of references, this is still plagiarism. You need to use your own words to explain those ideas. Or use indentation to quote the passage exactly and give a proper citation.

Make sure the essay contains your own analysis

This is NOT what an essay is supposed to be:

@According to Lycan, P. But Dennett says, Q. On the other hand, Perry argues: R. Conclusion, Lycan is wrong.@

You should give your own reasons and analyze what is discussed (if you are asked to do so). Even if your final opinion is the same as philosopher X, you should explain why you think X is right.

Here is a better way:

@[Introduction] ... According to Lycan, P. But Dennett disagrees, and he says, Q. I think Dennett is right and Lycan is wrong, for three reasons. First, blah blah blah ... Second, blah blah blah ... Third, blah blah blah ... Someone might argue that my third reason is mistaken. For example, Perry argues: R. But as Dennett suggests, blah blah blah. Here is another example to support Dennett - blah blah blah Conclusion, Lycan is wrong.@

Avoid long sentences

Instead of:

@In here I will explicate my objection to the argument that Internal Monitoring is not sufficient to consciousness@

Why not:

@I shall argue that internal monitoring is not sufficient for consciousness.@

Instead of:

@My strategy in responding to the argument will be to say that X should be considered as conscious. This response will be divided into two parts. The first part will be ...@

Why not:

@My reply is that X is conscious, for two reasons. First, ... Second, ...@

Delete irrelevant / unimportant material

A good paper does not have to be a long paper. Anything you write down should serve a useful function. If a sentence can be deleted without changing the points you want to make, delete it.

So don't write things like: "Since the beginning of time people have been wondering about the nature of consciousness."

Simpler expressions

"would be regarded as conscious" → "is conscious".
"For me, I do think that P" → P
"Another argument is based on the idea that P" → "Another argument is that P"

Avoid careless mistakes

They leave a very bad impression.

auxiliary verb - "it would means"
plural/singular agreement - "this objections", "human beings is just like", "One of the example", "there are a sensor"
Verb vs. noun "this device have conscious"
Missing words - "I really cannot we are conscious of those words"

Citation format

Make sure you know how to give proper citation. For my courses, use the APA style where possible. See http://philosophy.hku.hk/?n=Main.Citation

Give the web site address for online material.

@Zuidervaart, Lambert, "Theodor Adorno", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Summer 2003 Edition), Edward N. Zalta (ed.), URL = <http://plato.stanford.edu/archives/sum2003/entries/adorno/>. Accessed on 21 Oct 2006.@

Finally

Always re-read your essay before submission. Get someone else to take a look if you can.
Finish your essay well before the deadline. Take into account the possibility of mysterious harddisk crashes, traffic jams, printer problems, illnesses, .... Don't offer excuses if you hand in late. You are responsible for handing in on time.

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