— go back to the guide
I meant it, in my immature thoughts, on my knees in front of a desk; I wasn’t trying to put on a show, but trying to take part in the activity at hand. Probably I did not believe in the efficacy of prayer, but rather thought that it was symbolic. Though in that matter, I cannot be certain what I thought when I was a teenager, and perhaps we cannot be certain what any ordinary person in any religion really thinks about the efficacy of prayer, other than that it is a required, appropriate and decent activity which places immediate concerns sub specie aeternitatis. Subsequently, the teacher asked me gently if I might want to become a priest like him. But I said no.